During her recent visit my mother said something to the
effect that its just plain wrong not to soak up the summer while it is
here. But for some reason I prefer
the shade and the cool offered by my office. It’s catch up day here at the rectory – a Monday. Mondays are my quiet time - they offer
an opportunity to step away from the regular hum-drum. Although today I’ve answered every
phone call and washed and put away dishes – its usually an opportunity to catch
up on rest or to get outdoors. That said, on hot days I prefer to be curled like a nesting
reptile – sheepishly soaking in the cool draft that oozes from the air
conditioner.
Today
nothing of the sort is needed – just a little shade from the midday sun. I gaze occasionally out the window at
the greenery of the trees, full and lush with sunlight. I hear the drone of a lawnmower down
the block. But I can’t help but
notice the restlessness in my being, as though I were in a soupy fog, being
tugged more by circumstance than charting my course.
I’m
on call this week at the hospital so I’m taking in this lovely June day in my
collar and black dress pants with comfy dress shoes. I suppose I could change into shorts and a t-shirt. Instead, I’ll stay on duty as I attempt
to keep my mind focused.
I’m
surprised that this is the first time I’ve blogged this year. At this rate I’m averaging 2 posts per
year. For some reason, as I
recount this to myself - I chuckle...it temporarily drowns out the lawnmower.
I
think St. Thomas Aquinas once differentiated things into two categories – the
good and the superb good. So take
‘time’ for instance. Let us say
that the supreme use of time is to unite us momentarily with our ultimate end –
which is God. Therefore those
things that unite us to that end ought to be valued highly. It seems where I parcel out most of my
personal time is on food and entertainment.
Another
strange thing I’ve noticed... I often have to drag myself to work (even of
building up the kingdom of God) yet I can (and frequently do) leap over small
buildings to catch a movie or ice cream!
Yet the movie does not satisfy.
And I think I might be allergic to ice cream.
Alcoholics
Anonymous talks about our insane thinking- that often we do the same things
expecting a different outcome. I
think I understand that. But like
someone who is not ready to put down the bottle, I’m loathe to put down the popcorn! But I am curious to see what hobbies or
good things might come from an entertainment hiatus. I’m curious, am I strong enough?
I
know what I would do with the time I would’ve wasted on a lousy superhero
movie...I’d turn over the sod in my garden, till the soil a little. I’d go for a walk up on the Killarney
Lake, feed the mosquitoes. On
second thought, maybe I’ll make sure there’s a breeze for Killarney. I could use the extra time for
prayer. Or maybe just organize and
tidy up my place a bit. Perhaps I
could work on my homily for the weekend, or go for a leisurely walk up the
walking trail – just bask in the quiet, maybe say the Rosary and thank God for
the day. Who knows? I might even blog. If I do, I’ll have doubled my output
for the year!
It
seems like there is never enough time to grow closer to the Lord. I always feel behind and my mind rarely
is in a place of peace or receptivity.
To find the rhythm of life, the place where more of it fits
together...hmm...that is the challenge non? That’s the rhythm that I’d love to tap
my feet to – day after day. It is
a recipe for happy feet. And
though I'm strong enough to do it - will I choose to do it?
No comments:
Post a Comment